ATP…

You’ve been sleeping by 2am and waking by 8am. You’ve been setting daily tasks, only to find out that you couldn’t complete them because you’ve been so busy. you’ve tried your hardest for some things to work out, only for all of them to come crashing down one after the other…

Some days, the light shines brightest at the edge of that tunnel. Other days, no matter how far we trudge down the darkness, we never find the light at the end of that tunnel.

I pray that on those other days, hope keeps you tethered. I hope that on those other days, you remember the “WHY” you started and not only dwell the “TILL WHEN” it will take to get there.

I also hope that you have a peace that stays. Might be a relationship, might be a friendship, might be a mentorship, might be family. I just hope you have one space to call yours where all the anxiety, responsibilities, and worries don’t creep in. where they can’t corrupt or filter or damage with their darkness. I hope you have that.

I was having a conversation with a friend today where he randomly scrolled through old pictures from December last year, and it suddenly dawned on him that we are reaching the Ember months.

And then it struck me… we are slowly nearing the end of 2025.

All those things I’d said I would achieve in my career, all those goals I set. Where are they now? How did time fly? How is the world rushing so fast when I’m still learning this track of adulthood? How did we get here when I can still remember Christmas last year?

Is this what the world has reduced to? Mere numbers on a sheet of paper that distinguishes day from night while Age dances around like Tinkerbell waiting for our calendars to finally catch up?

I’ve received a hefty amount of rejection mails this year. Each rejection has hit like an actual punch to my rib. I’ve felt less of myself in so many ways. I don’t really talk about it to anyone. I thought I’ve learnt to get over it. I thought I’ve learnt to accept rejection as part of life and work harder for the next one. But tell me why my heart starts beating rapidly anytime I want to press SEND for another application. Tell me why the fear of another “I hope this mail greets you well” keeps my art stuck in a well.

Slowly, slowly, rejection has crept into my nervous system and desecrated into dreams that have now died in my notepad.

My next Stage Play is happening this Saturday and Sunday😊

And honestly, honestly…I have mixed feelings about it.

It’s a completely different role for me. Something I wouldn’t normally see myself acting as. But this is one of the reasons I fell in love with acting: the challenge it brings, the wholesomeness that comes with stripping everything you thought you knew about yourself just to become that character the audience needs to see.

Acting makes me see the world from another view. It makes me wonder whether Shakespeare wasn’t completely mad when he said “the world is a stage, and we are all actors”

What if this world was just the main show, and we are all characters in this play produced by God, acting out scripts whose blockings we can never fully understand?

Or what if, just like you’ve always known, this writer before you is just another clueless human begging for the world to finally make sense?